Went to visit my bro again.
His hair's longer now and he's well.
Thank god for that.
For your information, that clock up there is my bro's clock.
Isn't it cute. Hahar.

I have been thinking a lot since the last school holiday.
And somehow, i forgot what i promised myself to do.
I was shock to see that Hui also had the same feeling, to be a better person.
But i had neglected it when i was fuming.
The power or anger is frightening.
It often overwhelms me and i will become the "Chentel" i loathe.
There's one thing which i had done successfully.
That is, i had learnt to forgive.
Because only this way, God will forgive me.
How do you expect other people to forgive you, if you don't forgive other people?
Just change your perspective.
There's a saying that goes "forgive and forget".
But i am sorry God, i can't reach the term forget YET.
Really sorry. I can forgive, but if you ask me to forget, it's like asking me to lose one hand.
Sometimes when our feelings are hurt, it's impossible to recover from it.
When you forgive, the wound would stop bleeding. But what about the scar?
It's when you decide to forget and that's very hard to achieve.
But i know if i achieve it, i will be in the next level.
People who hurt me before, please be informed that, now, I, Chentel, had forgiven you.
Give me some time, to forget.

The other thing that i want to do to be a greater person is,
to not let myself be distracted.
This include relationship and gossips. Plus one more, i don't want to judge people.
Relationship. Though i had been really obedient and good girl for the past fifteen years,
I can't deny that sometimes i really got distracted.
When i watch romance film or novels, i'll wish that i could be the heroin.
And i am not ashamed of it. A girl can dream.
This is too normal for a teen girl like me, and i know that.
I know i will not have boyfriends and stuff like that, but sometimes,
I can't help myself from searching for one.
This is so funny when i think of it now.
Like i will see which guy in our school stands out in the crowd.
And like the song by Taylor Swift, Fifteen.
*Cos' when you're fifteen and, somebody tells you they love you, you gotta believe them*
I believed it too. I am such an idiot, psycho. Bah!
I talked to my bro about it and finally come to a conclusion, i'll change.
No more fantasies. No more this kinda stupid stuff. It's not healthy.
Just ignore the hormones.
About gossips, i will not say anything to people anymore.
I mean, because i know quite a lot of gossips (friends tell me, but i swear i don't ask people about anything!), sometimes i let the rumour spread.
This is not right.
I'll keep my mouth shut. Unless you are my best friends.
If you know well enough, i'm quite good at judging people.
This isn't right too. Because we simply can't judge a book by its cover.
Although i was right at most times, but this isn't fair to the ones i misjudged.
So, i'll stop that too.
I'll just mind my own matters.

I'll change these, for now.
Old habits die hard.
Be patient with me, Dear God.