I'm confused, totally bemused.
The reason of it is because i want to get my results right away.
On the other hand, i don't.
I want to get my results now as to stop my heart from jumping out.
I don't want to get my results now as i am afraid i can't take the blow.
It's just two days away.
In this short period of time, i know i will be hysterical, out of control.
That's why my mum said that i am not myself.
Of course i know that. I am being emotional and pigheaded.
I am really worried and frantic.
I couldn't sleep properly. Therefore, don't expect me to be good-looking on Thursday.
Maybe i will appear with swollen eyes and hot-red cheeks and frizzy hair and whatever.
I have no time to pay attention to my looks.
My heart's heavy, really heavy, i am panting, gasping for air.
Even when i walk, i feel like as if i am dragging a stone weighing a hundred pounds with me.
My footsteps are heavy. It's sickening! This feeling.
I have to endure it silently to prevent my dad from noticing.
He would be heart-broken.
I must kill time by watching movies and surfing the internet.
I cannot stop. If i stop, the feeling will be back to haunt me.
Friends, please. Please pray for me. I have been praying for you guys.
Let us all get the results we desire. In Jesus's name, Amen.